Great Versus Dead Fish

February 25, 2008

I can’t believe how impossible it is to know ahead of time how something I write will be received.  Sometimes I agonize for days over something — writing, rewriting, rewriting, getting third-party opinions, more rewrites, etc. etc. etc.  I finally release it (to whomever), and get almost no feedback.  It just sort of flops over like a dead fish.

At other times, I whip out something, barely giving it a second thought, and then think “I really don’t have time for this editing shit, it’s fine, just let it go.”  The millisecond after I release it I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I didn’t put the love and attention into this piece that I should have.  I know that I was much too casual about dumping my stream-of-consciousness onto paper and rushing it out before its time.  I spend the next day on a terrible guilt trip, fretting over the fact that people will read it and instantly be on to me.  Next thing I know, to my amazement, people are gushing out over what I wrote. 

There seems to be a fine line between great and dead fish.  There’s no rhyme nor reason as to how people will react.

This past weekend I agonized for two days over my grammar homework assignment, and then it flopped.  Time was running out on Sunday and I still had homework for my new class in composition to do.  Out of desperation I quickly went over to my blog and grabbed a post — some sort of random babbling about whatever it is I babble about here.  The teacher loved it.  Go figure 😛